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Chapter Two
The Golden Rule Like the meaning of love, "The Golden Rule" can mean different things to different people. But before getting into intellectually defining the Golden Rule with words alone, I’ll tell you a couple of stories that define it through example. Long ago I had a simple little experience during a meal, that stayed with me as a vivid memory for the rest of my life. I was visiting a friend of mine who was a monk, at the monastery he lived in. Time flew by. Soon, afternoon began its transformation to evening, and I was invited to stay for dinner. At this particular monastery, they always ate dinner together at a large table. There was the usual clatter and commotion, but something very unusual happened. As I was just about to reach for a pitcher of milk, someone got to it first. But rather than pouring themselves a glass, they poured me a glass, and set the pitcher back down. I was a bit stunned. Now, keep in mind, I was accustomed to having waiters serve me at restaurants, or my mother at home, or a host/hostess at a dinner party. But this was very different. This was just another person who was eating at the table. There was no one playing the role of waiter or hostess. After the food was brought out to the table, it was just a bunch of people sitting down to a bunch of food, and partaking in it. In that situation, most people just "dig in" and grab whatever they want for themselves, and focus on their own eating. So when one of these strangers (who was also just having dinner as I was) performed this simple, natural act of getting and pouring milk for me rather than for himself, it was an odd experience. But it was even more striking because my need for the milk wasn’t expressed. My wanting milk was anticipated, rather than asked for. It was so striking in fact, that it seemed like "ESP" to me, or like the person was psychic. But he wasn’t. He probably saw me looking at the pitcher, and was just that sensitive, that caring about his guest, and acted on it. Or maybe he was a bit psychic. Doesn’t matter. The point is, it was a little example of the Golden Rule in action. While the above example shows how living by the Golden Rule can work in the little "day to day" aspects of daily life, it’s far more than just a "have a nice day" casual principle. It can also be so powerful as to change the world. Here’s a short, wonderful old parable, that does a pretty good job of giving an example of that:
There was a man who died and was being taken to heaven by angels. The angels said to him, "We are going to take you to heaven, but first we will show you hell." The angels then took him to a place where there was a great bowl, so great that it was as big as a lake. The bowl was filled with a nutritious stew. All the way around the sides of this bowl were people. Emaciated, starving, miserable people. These people had spoons to eat the stew with, and the spoons were long enough to reach the stew (about 12 feet). The trouble was, while they could scoop up the stew into the spoon, they could not get it into their mouths because the spoons were too long. So here were all these pathetic people, suffering and moaning in agony, constantly trying to eat the food that was abundantly in front of them - all in vain. Next, the angels took the man to heaven. To his surprise, he saw the same scene! There it was, a giant lake-like bowl of the same stew, surrounded by people with 12 foot long spoons. Yet something was different here - all these people were smiling, happy, and healthy looking! "Why? What is the difference here that these people are happy and well fed?", the man said to the angels. They replied, "Have you not eyes to see?". The man looked more carefully, and observed that one person would scoop up the stew, and bring it to the mouth of another. Then someone else would scoop up stew and feed it to the other. The angels smiled and said, "Here the people feed each other. Here are the people that learned the way of Love." The above story uses a striking allegorical fantasy to clearly illustrate a fundamental difference between a world of people who are looking out for themselves first, and a world of people who make caring for others their first priority. That’s what the Golden Rule is all about. The story exemplifies living by the Golden Rule, or not living by it, in a nutshell. But it’s more than just a story. It truly represents the real difference that living by the Golden Rule could make in our world. It shows us how unselfishly loving others, is not only Pure love, but pure, real spirituality. And even if you cannot change the world so profoundly, it still represents what kind of a spiritual world we can eventually live in if we live by the Golden Rule, and make ourselves deserving citizens of paradise.
A Universal Concept One of the beauties of the Golden Rule is it’s total universality. It goes beyond being just non-denominational and omni-denominational. As you will note in the above story, the issue of religions persuasion or faith was irrelevant. Assuming the people in that story were of various persuasions, it was their Pure love or selfishness that ultimately made the difference in their circumstances. The division between the "happy" place and the "miserable" place, wasn’t between Christians with 12 foot spoons, or Buddhists with 12 foot spoons, or agnostics with 12 foot spoons - or even an issue of who had spoons or not. The thing that separated those people in the story (as it does in reality too), was whether or not they’d learned that living by having Pure love was more important than variations in their belief systems. And that’s what this is all about. The concept of the Golden Rule applies to all good, caring, giving people, regardless of religion, faith, or lack of faith. It is a universal principle that anyone anywhere can use to improve their life, the lives of those around them, and ultimately, the whole world. Isn’t that incredible, exciting, amazing and wonderful!? The Golden Rule has a variety of typical definitions, which essentially all have the same meaning. Sometimes it’s interpreted as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you", or "Love thy Neighbor as thy self". We would add "Do no harm to others" and "Think of others first" to that list. They are all good definitions in our opinion, and you can see how they are all reflected in the above parable. But all those definitions and sayings are really "by-products" of "Pure love/Unselfishly loving others". Pure love covers them all, and is the mother of them all. So to clarify the definition used in this book, when we say living by "the Golden Rule", we basically mean living by "unselfishly loving others". While such "Golden Rule" principles are included in the beliefs of many spiritual traditions, in the Christian oriented parts of the world the Golden Rule is commonly attributed to a quote from Jesus. Here is how it reads in the Bible (From the Gospel of John, King James version, chapter 13): "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another". That quote seems to make it crystal-clear that Pure love, unselfishly loving others (as Jesus did) is the ultimate commandment Christians are supposed to live by. But the concept itself (Pure love or living by unselfishly loving others), is not exclusive to any religion. The same principle is also a belief of all basically "good" people, religious or not. It can include those of any faith, and those who have no faith. You may disagree, but it appears that based on Jesus’ own words, as long as someone obeys His commandment to love one another as He did, they are also "followers" of His - they are also Christians. But denominational labels and semantics aside, it is our opinion that those who indeed live by that beautiful Golden Rule, are behaving in a most spiritually responsible manner. The fact that they are also subsequently being a real Christian as directly defined by Jesus, is interesting though. But in any case, following the Golden Rule means being a caring spiritual person, regardless of "label" or "affiliation". In that sense, as we said earlier, the Golden Rule is strikingly (and wonderfully) universal. If you really think about it, there are few things that are so cross-cultural and universal. Perhaps the most universal, is a smile. Raising your hand as a sign of friendly greeting, might be considered an insult or hostile gesture in some cultures, but a smile means the same thing to all people everywhere, and no language is necessary to communicate its meaning. Music can often cross cultures too. But when it comes to a cross-cultural spiritual or moral concepts, the Golden Rule has no rival. While people often disagree on religion & politics, most everyone can agree on the "goodness" and "right-ness" of living by the Golden Rule, regardless of culture or religious belief. Thus it’s an ideal in which all kind hearted people can join together towards the common goal of manifesting Pure love and its virtues (kindness, compassion, tolerance, peace, sharing, giving, etc..) in tangible ways, for the mutual betterment of themselves, and all creation.
Why the Golden Rule is the "Big Key" to Solving All Life’s Problems The great need for the Golden Rule is as simple as the Rule itself. Just take that parable about the people with the 12 foot spoons, and apply it in present-day, real-world situations. People are suffering all over the world. Even those who seem to be happy, often actually have a painful empty pit inside them that they attempt to ignore by constantly chasing after diversions and fun. Alcohol and drugs are used to try and cope with it sometimes too, even in the "best of families" and amongst the wealthy who have everything they want (materially). Then of course there are the various wars and oppressions. So what’s the problem? Why can’t people be happy, and live in peace and cooperation? If you objectively look around at the world, and at people’s lives, you can trace all problems to one thing - selfishness. That’s right, just that ONETHING. If you thought greed or hate were the big problems, you’re right, but think further. Greed is just one aspect of selfishness, one "branch". So is hate, lust, theft, starting wars, killing, jealousy, envy, etc., etc.. And all of those branches of selfishness have "sub-branches" too. For instance, the reason for some people losing their jobs, or things like the destruction of a rainforest, or over-fishing to extinction, to be branches of "greed". But again, greed is just a branch of that ONETHING. You name the problem, its real source is selfishness.
"A person who is religiously enlightened appears to me to be one who has liberated himself from the fetters of his selfish desires and is preoccupied with thoughts, feelings and aspirations to which he clings to because of their superpersonal value." -Albert Einstein
Unlike the common phrase "fight fire with fire", you usually get better results fighting fire with water. So what better to fight selfishness with, than it’s opposite - unselfishness. Enter the Golden Rule. The answer, and the cure to all of life’s problems. Using a "Christ/Anti-Christ analogy, selfishness is like "the Anti-Christ" principle, and The Golden Rule is like "the Christ" principle. Once that is clearly understood, the only trick is implementing it in your life, and helping others do the same. Which brings us to the next prerequisite - understanding the source of selfishness. Selfishness is a result of separation. An outgrowth, and outcome, of being separate. Separate from what? Everyone and everything "else". Separate from others, separate from nature/the Universe/God. If you totally feel and believe that you are a separate being from everyone else, and everything else in the Universe, it’s naturally "you against the world". Me first. Look out for number one. It all makes total sense from that separate perspective. But the truth is that we are all One creation - scientifically speaking, and spiritually speaking. Looking at it scientifically without a religious or spiritual viewpoint, scientists know we are all made of the same essential "stuff", and the Universe is one thing, one energy, forming unimaginable numbers of parts of creation. Even if you take the stance that humans just "developed" self-awareness through evolution, that self-awareness is still behind humans seeing themselves as separate, and getting "out of harmony" with everything else in the Universe and nature. With that "self-consciousness" you have the separate self contemplating its "me against the world (or against the Universe)" scenario. Theologically, you can consider it like the story of Adam and Eve, or fallen angels (whether you wish to interpret that allegorically or factually). Rebelling against the One God, caused a separation or "cut off" from the One God, and again, suddenly, there was the separate self contemplating it’s "me against the world (or against the Universe/God)" scenario. So anyway you look at it, the result is the same. The "I, me, mine" thinking and behaving begins. And with that, greed, jealousy, fear, intolerance, hate, etc., etc., and all the problems that creates. But we all have both a selfish-side self (that contributes to those problems), and a "soul", "spirit" or "good" side too. Other than humans who let their selfish-side control them (most humans), everything else in the Universe functions as one harmonious system. Disjointed, separate thinking and behavior, interferes with that harmony, and creates disruptive "ripples in the pond" that can cause pain and suffering. And when those ripples we create hit the edge of the pond, they bounce back in even more complex patterns. Again, selfishness, and it’s endless cycle of desire and fear, causes all the problems in our personal lives, as well as the world. It’s easy to see for those who don’t deliberately make themselves "blind" because of their selfishness and fear. Once you have identified the problem, you can find a solution. In this case, since the real problem behind everything is selfishness and separation from the Universe/God, the solution is unselfishness, transcending the illusion of separation, and returning to oneness and harmony with the Universe/God. Anything that can help that process (as long as it’s harmless), is a good thing as far as I’m concerned. The Golden Rule and its offspring virtues, are thus a "big key", and perfect way to achieve the above goal. And even if living by the Golden Rule didn’t achieve that lofty goal, it’s still a "win - win" situation, because you become a better person, feel better, and help others. It just makes common sense. Ironically, while the Golden Rule is intellectually well known by almost everyone, it seems to be stuck in some intellectual file cabinet within the dusty archives of people’s brains. It’s amazing when you think about it. The Golden Rule is probably the most vital positive, constructive principle in the world (in both a spiritual and practical sense) - and it’s always been just "sitting there" right before us, waiting for us to notice it, take it and use it. It’s likely we even heard about it from our mother or family when we were children. There in the recesses of our mind, is this incredible, powerful, yet simple, universal, common sense means to developing true spirituality, improving our lives and the lives of others. It’s so simple, so basic, so truly profound in a real sense - yet it’s often not even thought of by most of us as we search for "profound" spiritual knowledge, truths, and beliefs. And even if it is thought of, it’s often not thought of as being as significant as it really is. Or it’s just misunderstood, ignored, or given up on. But that is all changing. The Golden Rule seems to have been lying dormant within the hearts and minds of many good people like some kind of spiritual "time capsule" waiting to be opened. Benjamin Franklin said, "You will observe with concern how long a useful truth may be known and exist, before it is generally received and practiced on." Well, the "useful truth" of the Golden Rule has been around a very long time, yet it seems that only now is it really beginning to be generally received and practiced on by many people. It’s time has finally come. The response we (the Golden Rule Organization [GRO]) have been getting to the idea of people implementing the Golden Rule in their lives, is remarkable. People everywhere are responding, and experiencing an "awakening" of the Golden Rule within themselves. And as they each start living by the Golden Rule, and discussing its simple beauty with acquaintances, friends, family, and neighbors, some of them respond to it also. In this time of so much change and turmoil in the world, the "common sense" of the Golden Rule, is creating a "common spirituality", and spreading on a grass roots level. And as Franklin seemed to grasp, it is a movement that will eventually spread amongst those of like-mind throughout the world. The time you spend on developing your own unselfish love, and on spreading it to others, is invaluable. Here’s a nice thought from Albert Schweitzer - "You must give some time to your fellow men. Even if it’s a little thing, do something for others - something for which you get no pay but the privilege of doing it."
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